Anti Miscreant Equipment

Close in the heels of domestic development oph JF-17 plane and Rehman Malik declaring that satellites will be used in krachi, in a bositive develobment, Pakistani dephense scientists have 200,000 percent indigenously pindigenously develobed anti miscreant detection devices. This phollows in the glorious phootsteps of the pindigenous satellite develobment and launch personally by Musharraph that made us 400 per cent better than Yindia. These devices have been imborted phrom China in a joint development contract and shtamped “Made in Pakistan”, using shtamps also made in China. The devices were bought phor cash, just like the satellite, and will help in catching miscreants in Krachi, Waziristan and Swat.

The device comej in two forms. The jernailist version, called “Nuttybaranoia V1” consists oph a red color reciever to be worn over the head and a transparent detector to be worn over the face and can sbot RAW, CIA, Mossad, Yindoo, Yankee, Joo agints. Pakistanis, taalipaan, and patriotic terrorists are not detected or seen by theje devijes.

Zion Hamid Demonstrating the Kanspeerajy Detection Device in phorm of Lal topi and eye glasses. He can spot Joo, RAW, CIA, Mossad and Yindoo agints everywhere.


There ij aljo a military verjion, in the phorm of a face mask called “Baghdad Bob V2” which has better detection and can also detect common medical conditions oph Pakistani citijens. This was demonstrated by Athar Abbas, who saw bodies, some with torture marks and some with limbs tied and a bullet in the neck and head, on the roads of Mingora and immediately said “These beepuls have died of old age”.


Athar Abbas, ujing “Baghdad Bob V2” devije and looking at mass graves in Kukarai, Daulai and Shah Dheri village. He immediately declared “these pits are not graves but in fact fields planted by the bious and gentle Pakistani army to grow more beepuls”.

“The introduction of these devijes in Krachi will catch all miscreants in 24 hours” said Rehman Malik.


Internashunal Community Should Help Themselves by Helping Pakistan Help Themselves to Cashmere

Here is my help to popularise to the 400% brilliant artecal “International Community should help themselves by helping Pakistan” which helpfully concludes

Consequently, what the United States needs to do, and this is not at all an easy job, is bring the Kashmir issue to the forefront. If they can come to some sort of conclusion concerning Kashmir, Pakistan will have no use for terrorist cells and hence create a more stable Subcontinent. Pakistan will be able to focus more on their economic welfare and the wellbeing of their citizens.

Such a clear articulation for the end of terrorist activities has never been written on the internets. Hugely encouraged, I wish to jump in and contribute as well. Here is my 400% endorsement titled “Internashunal Community Should Help Themselves by Helping Pakistan Help Themselves to Cashmere”

To understand the phenomenon of the terrorist infestatshun in Pakistan, it is important to understand the relevance of Cashmere issue and the part it plays in forcing Pakistan to train moojahids to fight in far away places. As it is well known,  in the past 4 years Pakistanis were implicated (and in many cases convicted) for terrorism in

  • France
  • Spain
  • Canada
  • Norway
  • Tunisia
  • India
  • US
  • Britain
  • China (Xinjiang Uighur Autonomous Region)
  • Russia (Chechnya)
  • Uzbekistan (Tashkent, Ferghana valley)
  • Dagestan
  • Tajikistan
  • Southern Philippines
  • Bosnia
  • Afghanistan
  • Iran
  • Maldives
  • Yemen
  • Saudi Arabia
  • Burma
  • Indonesia
  • South Korea

And that is just a few places yours sachly got in 5 minutes of Google News archive search.

Look at the list of places that will benefit if Cashmere issue is solved!! If you ask “What do these places have to do with Cashmere and why are Pakistanis & Pakistani trained terrorijsts attacking them?” you are most probably a Joo working for CIA, RAA or Mossad out to defame Pakistan. On the other hand, the first thing that should come to any patriotic Pakistani’s mind is “Whoa!! There is a place called Dagestan? And our moojahids know enough geography to go there and set off bums?”  YES!! And this is precisely the reason why even though Yemen is increasingly showing potential to challenge this record, WE ARE STILL NO 1!! AK Phyrr in air!!

Okay I got carried away and I digress.

Where were we? My support for an article which articulates why Cashmere is a  normal and legitimate explanation for using the State apparatus of Pakistan to terrorize the population of a neighbouring country by randomly killing innocent civilians.

Going back to the list,   look at the size of the Internashunal community that can help themselves by helping Pakistan help themselves to Cashmere!! Ofcourse, this will not solve *all* terrorism and will leave a few countries behind. Like Denmark (Stop drawing cartoons you Kuffars!!), Switzerland (Build more Minarets!!), Norway (Stop giving out Nobel prizes to Chinese dissidents!!), US (FREE DAUGHTER OPH PAKISTAN AAFIA!!). But that is for a later analysis on how remaining terrorism can be tackled. Right now let us stay with supporting the low standards of conduct the State has set for itself


PS> Several people have pointed out inconsistencies and addishuns to this blog post and I am listing them here.

    1. A reader feels left out that Pakistan’s accomplishment in Thailand has been ignored. 400% apologies! Pakistan trained moojahids have spread Pakistan’s name far and wide in Thailand as well.
    2. A reader points out that Dagestan is a Russian province. Another reader says that Dagestan is not a country at all, but is probably a Joo conspiracy to defame Pakistan’s image and RAA, CIA and Mossad are probably partners in this conspiracy. I agree with both.
    3. Another reader points out that Pakistani moojahids going to Dagestan is 400% proof of the wholesome madrassa ejjucashun preparing people with real world skills. Who said real-world subjects like Geography are not taught in madrassas hain?
    4. Another reader says that the internashunal community is obligated to help Pakistan and quotes one of my tweets
      “Pakistan is doing the whole world a favour by being Pakistan. Would you rather have your country be Pakistan hain?”