Everything You Wanted To Know About Raymond Davis (But Were Afraid To Ask)

Raymond Davis works for the CIA. CIA is an organization in the USA. USA pays all of Pakistan’s bills.

Or, in the words of our taller than mountain, deeper than ocean friends:

Confucius say “He who should check his balls often, cannot hold head high with dignity”


11 thoughts on “Everything You Wanted To Know About Raymond Davis (But Were Afraid To Ask)

  1. Fantabulous, Major.
    Uv out-done urself this time. Confucius mostest profoundest statement ever as made to the only visionary left in Pakistan. I guess the intelligent deficit in most others in PakLand is to even out the massive disparity occurred by the mostest humongous profoundest pearls of wisdom granted to you O Major by the Almighty.
    I bow b4 thee!!!

  2. Wah wah, Major Sa’ab! Love the Confucius quote. Another one that could’ve cracked open the case for Punjab “No money, no water” Police: “He who fire straight and true from windshield of moving Honda Civic at agile motorcycle must work for CIA.”

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  4. Wah wah Major… succinct

    Fourth cousin’s goat informs that Rana Sanaullah’s IQ has finally reached room temperature levels…

    achievement hain ji


    ” Punjab Law Minister Rana Sanaullah says the weapon carried by Haider wasn’t loaded and thus Davis has no right to claim self-defense.”

    In any case

    ” The police report said “there was not a single bullet loaded in the chambers of either of the two slain people — Faizan Haider and Fahim Shamshaad. Rather all bullets were in magazines.””

    The time taken by the bullet to load from the magazine to fire out of gun is a matter of seconds… enough time for Raymond “Sain” to call a “Loya Jirga” and have 3 rounds of Beace talks in Thimpu.

    Why did he have to shoot first… hasn’t he seen all those Clint Eastwood movies where the hero never shoots first, he shoots just after the villain….

    but first cousin’s goat is bleating that Clint Eastwood or his villain “Sains” never had automatic weapons…. chee chee such crooked thinking….the goat is definitely jooish

    Raymond Sain has not only killed two ISI agents but has also insulted the spirit of Pakastaniyat, he should have surrendered meekly.

    All AmerKhan CIA agents roaming around unescorted in Pakastan, please note the following strategies from the Goat

    1. If Taliban, LeT, LJ or any of the other assorted long bearded gentlemards wave a gun at you, meekly surrender. You can be sure to be treated to Chicken Biryani and a grand escort back to the embassy. Don’t believe me… ask Daniel Pearl

    2. World over police and intelligence agencies wave their rank or badge but this is Pakastan, the ISI waves their guns. Again surrender meekly. You will be overjoyed by their company. In fact many citizens of Pakastan like ISI’s company so much that they have been missing after being picked up from their homes and haven’t been back to their homes in years….
    (please note: Mass graves of blindfolded, hands tied behind the back Baluchis & Pushtoons have nothing to do with ISI and it is a Jooish conspiracy).

    3. IF they were indeed highway robbers (please note the IF, highway robbers are a US media conspiracy to malign Pakastan, US media is owned by Joos so it is also a Jooish conspiracy) … Phikar not, no need to worry, the brave Pakistan police will rescue you.

    You can also check with General Tariq Majid’s son in law

    4. Lastly if you have to shoot unknown men waving guns at you, shoot the last finger of the left hand so that with one hand they can fire their weapon and with the other they can call their handlers at the ISI and ask for reinforcements.

    The goat strongly advises all AmerKhans to not shoot when threatened by potential gun waving ISI gentlemards. If you are a American roaming around in Pakastan and someone cocks a gun at you… obviously it is April Fool day, all guns in Pakastan are for display only and are rarely used. They had no intention of using a live gun with live bullets… hain ji this is just for show..

  5. Major, wah-wah! Zimbly superb writings! I manly warrior-like kiss sachly cheeks phur renewing faith in sum peoples living in land uph pure. However, yours sachly mast also doff warrior topee at how Pak manaj yank unkil Samad’s balls while scratching own balls uph pury. Current twisting uph unkils balls goes well beyund shamless into stratopheric joo chutzpah that ij borderings on 400% brilliance! Iph Pak ujed fracshun uph this kind uph smarts in builjing nashun and not trying out-clever-bever unkil or perfidus Yinds, how far it mijht haph rison! Sachly as perfidus Yind, I pheel itty-bitty sorrow at missed Pak ophortunity and aljo itty-bitty jealous at how mediocre and unimaginative Yind leadership ij at seizing balls und giving qiuck flick uph wrist like Pak nashunal champion Kayani, and past golden champion Mushy. Until Pak hanaar was redeemed with Davis afair, previjus #1 hit was Mushy planning Kargil while Yindpayee vijiting Pak; too simbly brilliant. yar!

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