Here is a news roundup for the past month:
- In a dramatic development for Pakistani opinion-makers and thought leaders, Apple introduces iPad mini.
- Pakistan-India relationship set to improve, as Indian foreign minister is likely to demonstrate a large warm heart. Previous foreign minister was notorious for his small cold heart.
- HAARP and God’s wrath strike New York.
“Before complaining that 33 Million dont have electricity in the US, the world should realize that Pakistan is the biggest victim of power cuts.”
–President Asif Ali Zardari
- Despite minor hiccups, Imran Khan finds out that it is easier to travel to US than to Waziristan.
- In a positive development, wads of cash found in ex-cricketer’s bag was not meant for match fixing instead it was meant for election fixing.
- Hafiz Saeed offers storm aid to the US. CIA declines ISI’s offer and issued a statement that they are fully capable of forming their own front organization.
- British and UAE ministers release statement about Malala’s health. Further statements about this internal matter of Pakistan will be released by China and Saudi Arabia.
- Conspiracy theories that Malala was attacked to enable Waziristan operation was debunked when Pakistan Army stood steadfast in its inaction and pusillanimity vis-a-vis Waziristan.
- Pakistani politicians were told they cannot visit Malala. This restriction does not apply to Pakistani politicians because they are all British citizens anyway.
- Pakistanis divided in their opinion as to whether they would like drone attacks by Obama or prefer drone attacks by Mitt Romney.
- Pakistanis unable to relate to South Indian accent in English Vinglish. Entertainment writers lament the Bollywood trend of making movies about non-Pakistani foreign cultures.