Fake Track Two

  1. Great neuj folks!! South Asia Peace Institute has been invited for Track-2 meeting in Dili!! I will be live teeting it! #TrackTwo
  2. Immigration is humiliating. Indian officer there wanted to see my passport and Visa. Can relate to daily indignities of Cashmeeris #TrackTwo
  3. Passed by Humayun’s Tomb, Qutab Minar, Safdarjung’s Tomb and Ali’s 50% off cheap pants & shirts shop. Proud of Pakistani heritage #TrackTwo
  4. Breakfast. Something called “Dosa” from tribals of remote southern provinces. Yummy exotic ethnic food. Cute. #TrackTwo
  5. Wow. They have Chai here too! Must have gone out of their way to accommodate their guests. Doesnt taste very Pakistani though. #TrackTwo
  6. Sessions begin. First session “The path forward” #TrackTwo
  7. Pakistani delegate: “There is a difference between knowing the path & following the path” #TrackTwo …wait, did he just quote “The Matrix”?
  8. Predictably the terrorism angle brought up. Need all my skills to deflect this one #TrackTwo
  9. India complains about 10-20 Pakistani terrorists. Most Pakistani terrorists live in Pakistan. We are victims too #TrackTwo
  10. Liberalized visa is way forward … oops! shouldnt’ve mentioned visa immediately after suggesting Pakistan teams with terrorists #TrackTwo
  11. Dont think Pakistan training LeT and LeJ just hurts you. They go and kill Pakistanis too. We are victims also #TrackTwo
  12. Fixation about just international terrorism from Pakistan should end. Pakistan also produces excellent columns about terrorism #TrackTwo
  13. Next session: Role of various organs of state in National stability and peace process. #TrackTwo
  14. Whew! Did I tell you how relieved I am the previous session was over? #TrackTwo
  15. Question on Army supporting Peace process. Indians should trust Pakistani Army, they are firmly behind the peace process #TrackTwo
  16. On Election in Pakistan: No Pakistani trusts Pakistan Army. They are deceptive, manipulative bastards who cannot be trusted #TrackTwo
  17. Hmph, walked into that trap! …. Just because no Pakistani trusts Pakistan army doesnt mean Indians shouldnt trust Pakistani Army #TrackTwo
  18. Arrrgghh. Unnamed defence analyst (lets call her Ayesha) writes truthful column on Army not giving up support for non-state actors #TrackTwo
  19. Guess who is not invited to the next track two meeting? #TrackTwo
  20. Break for Lunch #TrackTwo There is meat! Not sure where they got that from. Kudos for the effort.
  21. Indian delegate asks if I have met Dawood bhai. Super annoying. I live in Lahore and everyone knows Dawood lives in Karachi #TrackTwo
  22. Cut the stereotyping. Dawood doesnt live in all of Pakistan. Just because I am Pakistani doesnt mean I went to Karachi to meet him #TrackTwo
  23. Indians bring up hate filled textbooks. Bollywood is also jingoistic. What about Indian kids who watch Sarfarosh? #TrackTwo
  24. Sonali Bendre was hot in that movie, but thats besides the point #TrackTwo
  25. Does anyone know where Sonali Bendre lives? Dilli? #TrackTwo
  26. Will Sonali Bendre autograph my pirated Sarfarosh CD? #TrackTwo
  27. Wrong to think Pakistanis are brainwashed against Hindus alone. #TrackTwo
  28. People from Karachi went all the way to Mumbai to shoot a pregnant Jewish woman on her head. Pakistanis hate Jews too #TrackTwo
  29. What about the time when Pakistanis cut the neck of a Jewish reporter? Why do Indians assume Pakistanis hate Hindus? #TrackTwo
  30. Why is the head of Pakistani delegation giving me dirty looks? Idiot should stop stomping on my feet so much #TrackTwo
  31. Meaningful action does not always indicate trust. Sometimes trust indicates meaningful action. Santana said so. #TrackTwo
  32. Well I made up the previous tweet. Dont tell anyone #TrackTwo
  33. When I said Santana, I meant Santayana. Not the musician guy the philosopher guy. #TrackTwo
  34. Several low hanging fruit. India could withdraw from Siachen & Sir Creek. If Pakistan doesnt take over, demonstration of trust. #TrackTwo
  35. To withdraw from Siachen you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well do you?.. Did he just quote “Dirty Harry”? #TrackTwo
  36. Question on 26/11 progress. Pakistan has independent media, independent judiciary, independent Army, independent ISI. Takes time #TrackTwo
  37. Why are Indians protesting to shut down drama and music performances? Where did they think they were? In Lahore? #TrackTwo
  38. Indian public opinion still against peace. Pakistani delegation suggests non-representative government in India for Peace #TrackTwo
  39. Pakistan can share its experience with unrepresentative and unaccountable government. Much needed in India for peace in South Asia #TrackTwo
  40. More visas, simplifying visa process, multi city visas are way forward #TrackTwo
  41. Visa on Arrival, minimal paperwork, more border crossings way forward #TrackTwo
  42. Visas could be granted in Pakistan banks itself rather than the border #TrackTwo
  43. Just in case the message is lost. Liberalized visas is the way forward #TrackTwo
  44. Not sure if everyone heard because of static in the Microphone. More visas. Liberalized visas #TrackTwo
  45. Next session: Cashmere. #TrackTwo India gets terrorism session, we get Cashmere session. heh heh
  46. Plight of Cashmeeris should be addressed. India has repressed Cashmeeris and denied them basic freedom and dignity #TrackTwo
  47. Progress possible only if Both India and Pakistan allow representative government in their respective parts of Cashmere #TrackTwo
  48. Hmmm. SMS from Pakistan HC staffer. Asked me if my wife and kids were doing well. Strange. #TrackTwo
  49. Okay scratch that. India should allow representative government in their Cashmere. #TrackTwo
  50. Azad Cashmere has Azad in it. They have rights. It has a Prime Minister. I dont remember his name, powerless puppet anyway. #TrackTwo
  51. Cashmeeris seem to be ungrateful about all the money & traini…..:cough: Moral, political, diplomatic support Pakistan gave them #TrackTwo
  52. 4 Point solution (1) India declares Cashmere as dispute (2) Withdraws (3) Something something (4) India gives Cashmere to Pakistan #TrackTwo
  53. Sessions end. Summary. Productive trip. Totally was convincing and in my elements. #TrackTwo
  54. Dinner in Villa Medici. That liquid does not seem to be coca cola. Will take your questions tomorrow guys! Thats all. #TrackTwo

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